Comment

Comment by Larry Hartle on March 28, 2011 at 2:06pm

To send Ellen off to Nashville, I thought I'd write her something country.

Ellen, sorry for errors in first draft - Started to write a short congrats, got an idea while online, and wrote it directly on CNY. When I read it again, at bottom of your reply, I had to shake my head. Don't know how my mind works (or should say doesn't work) - normal numb stage. Here is the way I meant it to read.

          Redneck Cowboy Song

I brought a horse, his name was Jack

Tried real hard to stay on his back

He kicked, bucked and tossed his head

On the ground, I landed dead!

They buried me without fan fair

Place a stone to mark just were

My name unknown they only scratched

Cause of Death, “He didn’t know Jack”

Again - best of luck in Nashville

Larry

Comment by Ellen Gerberich on March 27, 2011 at 1:33pm

Some news, I am a member of NASI  (National Song Writers International) and when I am in Nashville I have an appointment to have 3 of my songs critiqued by an accomplished song writer. I am excited. If I figure out how to do it I will add a music mp3 clip to this thread.  Any feedback from this writing community would be welcome, although, remember I am not professing or wanting to be a singer.

Comment by Larry Hartle on March 14, 2011 at 12:45am

Hi all, can't believe everyone in group took time to write me. The awaking was pure ficton. I thought about Don's first commets and tried to make it better, however, thoughts just didn't come. So I took another story I wrote 20+ years ago, the story is a personal event and as such made it easier for me apply Don's suggestion (or at least what I thought Don was suggesting). be more detailed. I think it has improved the story and hope it is better. I have read it over a couple times now without changing it, will post. Thanks for all the feed back. Thanks to Don his help with my english. Free classes sound good, Think I will see what classes I might enjoy next fall. This week I have to get my boat out and get ready for Spring Browns.

Comment by Ellen Gerberich on March 2, 2011 at 5:48pm

Here another poem to share:)

 

                                          WALKING STICK

©

Ellen Gerberich

 

When I was a young man

I had spring in my step

 A bounce in my knees

I held my head high

Saying, Hey look at me

 

But I’m getting a bit older

I’ve got gray in my hair

My knees started creaking

The bounce just ain’t there

 

I still hold my head high

I have nothing to hide

I walk with a stick

I swing it with pride

 

So if you see me

Walking along

Swinging my stick

And humming a song

 

Smile when you see me

Wave at me too

‘Cause as the years pass

It could happen to you

 

Comment by Ellen Gerberich on February 10, 2011 at 7:50am

Hello again,

I promised myself that if I was going to take the time to be part of a writer's group that I would make time on a regular basis to share some of my writing.  For who are we as writers, if we don't write and share?  I write because I have to it's a intégral part of me.  There are times a thought or idea comes so fast that I'm not even sure that I wrote it or where it came from.  I write poetry, songs and stories for children and an occasional piece of satire. If I feel really gutsy sometime I might try and figure out how to add a song link. But, you have to understand, I'm a writer not a singer. But when a song comes to me it comes intact with melody.  So, be forewarned, listen to the words and melody with ears that hear someone else singing it as you critique it. First entry:

Majestic Waves
©
Ellen Gerberich

Once I was a majestic wave, beating up against the shore
Thundering - Crashing with a mighty roar
Riding the crest so full of pride
Imposing myself, fighting the tide

Feeling secure, feeling bold
Grasping - Clutching, trying not to loose hold
When quietly the Great Lake roared
Wrenching me back, away from the shore

I'm not so mighty now or full of pride
As the Great Lake sucked me, beneath it’s tide
It pulled me down across the bottom floor
Underneath - Forever more

But once again my white caps rise
With icy tentacles, I grasp my prize
Clinging to the rocks upon the shore
My icy form - Moves no more

Then the sun beat down with the coming of spring
I return once more, to my watery being
Starting again, it feels so right
Motion -Bringing me back to life

May your day be filled with happiness:)

LN

Comment by Ellen Gerberich on February 7, 2011 at 10:53am

Hello fellow writers,

I have been writing on and off since I've been 10 years old. Poetry, songs and stories. An odd hobby for someone who is dyslexic and spelling and grammar can be challenging.

My goal like most writers is to actually be published (other then just for free). I joined this group looking for like minded writers who would be willing to share idea's, read writing and honestly critique. But, I am not exactly sure what this groups idea's are. This is my first time joining a forum like this. So, I'd be interested to see what others have in mind.

Thanks,

LN

 

Comment by Peter Svoboda on October 23, 2010 at 2:42pm

Congratuations